Man - I miss my buddy

I mentioned in a different post that I had a buddy who needed me to be a friend. Since that post, his health progressively got worse until he lost his fight with cancer on Dec 30th. I attended his memorial service on Tuesday and am still having a hard time despite how much of a celebration of his life his memorial was.

This man was a coworker of mine and a friend that I will always call my ‘older brother’. The age difference between us (20+ years) never seemed to matter and in an odd way, it seemed like he was an older version of me. He LOVED music, his family, God and classic comedies like I do but the similarities don’t stop there. He was a deeply religious man but wasn’t afraid to smile at a dirty joke, he let his daughters pick what shoes he should by or if he should dye his hair (we both did that) and I can’t think of anybody he didn’t like.

I can’t count the number of hours we sat discussing everything from airplane models to the importance of family. He told me about taking his daughters to Christian-metal band concerts (which I had never heard of before) and I told him about geocaching and pretty much anything else that passed by my brain. All of my time with him was wonderful.

It seems a bit strange that one of my fondest memories will be when he was in the hospital but the time I visited with him is something I treasure. His oncology nurse had walked in to check on him and asked if I was his son. Without missing a beat, he answered yes and I will forever remember the feeling that gave me.

During the medical problems I had, I went through absolute hell. Everything I knew was torn into shreds and flushed. I think that fact is something that my buddy could relate to and that brought comfort to him knowing that I had just been on the rollercoaster of hospitals and medications. When we talked, I told him three beliefs that my problems helped me form:

1. God will never give you more than you can handle. That being said, the Bible doesn’t say you have to handle it alone. Ask for help when you need it even if the help is having someone to hear you complain without judging.
2. We may never know why these trials happen to us. God has a plan and a reason for everything but we have no promises that he will run those plans past us first. If you let yourself during those times, you will be used for His purposes which I believe are for the good. That being said, sometimes the using SUCKS.
3. If the reason my life had to go through a blender was to make my friend more comfortable or even just provide him with someone who understood, I am happy it happened despite how much it sucked and I would gladly do it again.

The world has lost a terrific man, dad and husband with my “older brother’s” passing and I have lost a wonderful friend.

Goodbye my dear friend. I love you my brother and I can’t wait until we can chat again.