Man - on being a friend indeed

Wow. I just hit the first real speed bump on my way towards becoming a man. All of the other 'problems' I have faced seem to pale in comparison to what a buddy is going trough right now.


I just visited a person in the hospital that I call my 50 year old brother. He is a private person and I will respect that but suffice it to say, he is fighting a very serious illness with even more serious medications.

With having a wife that is a nurse, I have gotten used to relying on her during times of medical crisis. She immediately takes the lead in providing comfort and is exceptionally gifted at doing so. This person though is one that she has never met and on top of that, she worked today so the responsibility of helping my friend had to be mine.

As much as I desperately wanted to be involved, I was dragging my feet for the fear that I would say the wrong thing and make him and his family burst into tears. It took a bit of courage on my part but today, I FORCED my compassion to win over my fear.

Any fear I had melted immediately when I walked into the room. In seeing me arrive, my friend let out a sigh of relief and invited me in. We talked for a couple of hours during which time I just flat out told him that I was counting on him to tell me when to get closer, shut up or get out of the way. Once I got that off my chest, I was 100% free to enjoy my time with one of my closest friends.

I learned today that my buddy didn’t suddenly turn into a “sick person” when he was admitted to the hospital. He was still just my friend who happened to be going through the hardest thing he ever has.

I didn’t have to worry about “how to be” because it just seemed to come so naturally. At times, he wanted me to be just like I am every time we get together, other times he wanted to talk about his fears. Sometimes he needed a listener and sometimes he needed me to do all the talking. The most important thing I think he needed me to be was there.

It was absolutely priceless to spend this time with him and I will be doing it again very soon. God, please be with my friend when I can’t be and keep him company until I visit him again. It won’t be long.

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