Dad - on the difference between fault and intentions

So I watch a bunch of judge shows and have noticed a trend. Especially since I see this same problem with ‘kids these days’, I have put it on my list of things I want to teach my kid.

It seems to me that people have coupled fault with intensions. People who are listed as ‘at fault’ for an accident respond with ‘but I didn’t mean to hit them. It was an accident’. Hopefully I can explain to my child that an accident usually has one or more people at fault but that doesn’t cast any light on the character of those involved or imply that the act was done maliciously.

With some kids on the playground the situation seems similar. One kid gets hit by someone trying to do a flip and the flipper looks for any reason at all not to apologize. He shouldn’t have been standing there – I didn’t do it on purpose – he hit me last week. .

I think we are all still so cautious of "getting in trouble" whether by the principal or monitarily for us adults.

My kid HATES to make mistakes and one thing we are working on is that mistakes stink but you might as well expect them, accept them and move on. I think the ‘fault’ dilemma relates to this.

One of my favorite movies is Elizabethtown. After a HUGE mistake in that movie, there is a line I love: "You have five minutes to wallow in the delicious misery. Enjoy it. Embrace it. Discard it. And proceed."