1 year ago
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Family - What I did over spring break
It was March 14th, 2010 and my wife and I had a surprise planned for our daughter. We had found it kind of hard finding things to do during spring break. It seemed like every option was either a movie where you can’t talk to one another or an arcade where you feed quarters for entertainment. Finally after a bit of searching, we found it.. Family fun like my kid has never had.
I can’t count the number of times we have driven past a church carnival and my kid has almost clawed the window wanting to go. The sight of all those kid-sized rides, the lights and the smell of popcorn was enough to drive her crazy. When we saw the pictures of the attractions at Sandy Lake, we knew we had to take her.
We didn’t tell her anything about our destination or even that we were doing something special when we headed out. As we turned onto Sandy Lake road, we started passing by some of the rides and she immediately perked up and said “oh dad! That looks like fun.” I knew we made the right decision. I put on my blinker to pull in and the squeals began.
The lady that took our money asked if we had been there before. When we answered no, she actually got excited. She eagerly explained that the place worked on the ticket system, where we could buy them and that you can park anywhere you want all over the park (within reason of course) and we were off.
As we rounded the first corner, we were hooked. The entire place dripped with comfort (for lack of a better word). The feeling we got as we pulled up is hard to explain but the closest I could get would be if my parents owned amusement park rides and just set them up for the day at a city park for us to play with. We saw the pony rides, carnival roller coasters, picnickers, waving kids with hot dogs and cars parked right up behind the rides. I took a moment wondering to myself if this is what it was like when my parents used to go to county fairs.
We pulled around back of the bumper cars and barely got the car parked before my daughter’s door exploded open and she started happy dancing.
Ponies:
With my key still only half way in my pocket, I was being pulled towards the ponies while trying to explain two things. 1. She would probably be too tall for the ponies and 2. We needed to eat real quick first. Our compromise was that we would check her height before eating and do ponies immediately after if she was below the max.
Uh oh.. First problem.. Thanks to her two 6 foot tall parent’s, my kid was a bit over the max height.. She was a tiny bit disappointed but with the lure of the other rides she quickly recovered and we went to get food. While we were eating, a very polite gentleman in a Sandy Lake shirt introduced himself and told us he saw us trying out the pony rides and he had good news for us. The man turned out to be the owner who told us he had just purchased a bigger pony for just such an occasion and asked if my kid would like to be the first person to ever ride him. I could actually FEEL my daughter’s every atom jump up an excitement level so the decision was pretty much already made :-).
When we got done eating and arrived at the corral, we found the owner and an employee hitching up “elmo” the super-pony. He recognized us, took our tickets and helped my kid up on the horse.
We weren’t worried about the pony being so new. You could tell all of the horses had wonderful dispositions and they are all connected together anyway. Still though, during that first ride the owner’s hand never left the horses bridle and he never left her side which was a fact I appreciated and respected.
pic from her second (or was it third) ride:
The dragon:
My daughter almost floated down to the ground after the pony ride but it only took the few seconds while we thanked the owner for her to begin yanking me towards what we called ‘the dragon’ roller coaster. This would be my kid’s first coaster experience and I was so happy she was tearing towards it and would be riding it by herself.
On this occasion, the first of an eventual eight rides on the dragon, she chose to sit near the middle. Very sensible for her first time. The ride began and my wife whipped out her iphone for pictures like a touch-screen ninja. Immediately, we realized that from the front of the ride you can’t see your kids face very well.
It was at this point that we noticed the lack of walls\fences\rails\shrubs that force people to stay in one spot like Six Flags has. We both ran around the side of the ride and got some awesome pictures of the kid riding her first coaster!
The train:
She was exiting the dragon when the train passed by and I tried to offer her my left hand this time so maybe it would stretch to the same length as the right. The arm yanking began and we headed to the station.
I have always loved trains so we take the opportunity to ride any one we come across. The Fort Worth Zoo train, the Trinity express, the train at Frank Buck Park in Gainesville. . We ride them all. I love any kind of train ride but my favorite ones have playful conductors. I could tell with the conductor’s “all aboard” call that this was going to be a favorite.
The conductor gave his talk as we circled the park and his performance was perfect. We rode the train another time later in the day so I know he says the same thing every trip but you don’t get that feeling. He told a story about a tree (that I think my kid believed) and other such tall tales.
The tilt-a-whirl:
After the train ride, I was the one dragging my daughter to one of the rides we had seen. You can’t be in a carnival-like atmosphere and not ride the tilt-a-whirl. My wife (wisely) decided to just watch as the kid and I boarded the red and blue carts. We had screams of delight and LOTS of “weeeeee”s as the iphone ninja kept snapping photos.
I am not sure what the age to g-force limit is but I worried once or twice that I might be passing it. Therefore, my wife took the next shift and road “the spider” and “the white coaster” with her. My daughter decided to brave the white coaster on her own and I used my new found trick of walking around the ride to find the best camera angle. Keeping in mind that I am only an apprentice iphone ninja.
The bumper cars:
Here is where my wife and I had the most fun. We didn’t even ride the cars but we knew how it was going to go. All of us old folks know that the steering on authentic bumper cars is kind of hit-and-miss. Turn the wheel too much and you’re doing doughnuts. Turn it all the way over and you reverse. Well imagine that plus being nine years shy of a license and you can picture how well the kid did.
It was also here though that we noticed it wasn’t just the owner who cared about kids. The employee on the ride stopped the cars probably 6 times to point her car forward but each time, he actually gave her a driving lesson. He pushed the car toward the wall and asked “how are you going to make the car turn and miss the wall” to teach her about the steering. That was really cool.
The other parents and kids were cool too. A young girl deflected a few bad hits while shouting driving instructions and even the other side-line parents were shouting “you’re doing great” and “turn the wheel”.
Because of the low-key atmosphere, I was free to laugh myself into a stupor while shouting “now you turned it too much.. turn the other way”. I am still laughing about it now.
The haunted house:
On our way to mini golf, we stopped by the haunted house. My daughter, who just braved every other ride was actually a bit frightened of this one. Luckily when we got to the top, there was a kind looking grandfatherly figure sitting in a folding chair. As we got closer, he could read it on my kids face and he shouted “don’t worry honey, I am the scariest thing on this ride”. He seemed to know the exact right words and she calmed down immediately.
The People, the times and the impression:
After the ride, we sat and talked with the man for about 10 minutes. I am not usually one to get gooey and philosophical about things but with this man and every other employee we chatted with, I began thinking what a shame it is that younger people sometimes miss out on talking like this. The guy was hilarious as he described his years of working the fun house and I am pretty sure he made a permanent friend with my daughter. She even asked if she could donate her werewolf costume to the guy to help him with “his” ride.
We chatted with a few employees like this and they all seemed to genuinely enjoy working there and making kids happy. The location is amazing. It is so close to all the big cities but as soon as you drive through the gates, the trees cut all the noise and you actually feel like you are in a less hectic time. The owner mentioned that the place has been in business for 40+ years and I really believe going there today feels the same as it did 40 years ago. As a computer guy, I LOVE technology and up-to-the-second equipment but this place was different. (brace yourself for the sap ahead) I actually felt a kind of connection with my grandparents and what life must have been like for them at my age before everything got so modern and complicated. I feel like this place is what it must have been like before amusement parks became like the walmarts of entertainment. It was personal, friendly and just plain simple fun.
I am going to remember the feelings of this spring break for a long time. The laughs and squeals we got weren’t because paid Hollywood to babysit us for an hour or we exchanged a quarter for a ticket at Chuck-e-cheese. They were generated by my family being together and having the freedom and time to enjoy our company.
Thanks Sandy Lake and we’ll see you soon,
the Man, the dad and the husband
Family fun in the Dallas area
I can’t count the number of times we have driven past a church carnival and my kid has almost clawed the window wanting to go. The sight of all those kid-sized rides, the lights and the smell of popcorn was enough to drive her crazy. When we saw the pictures of the attractions at Sandy Lake, we knew we had to take her.
We didn’t tell her anything about our destination or even that we were doing something special when we headed out. As we turned onto Sandy Lake road, we started passing by some of the rides and she immediately perked up and said “oh dad! That looks like fun.” I knew we made the right decision. I put on my blinker to pull in and the squeals began.
The lady that took our money asked if we had been there before. When we answered no, she actually got excited. She eagerly explained that the place worked on the ticket system, where we could buy them and that you can park anywhere you want all over the park (within reason of course) and we were off.
As we rounded the first corner, we were hooked. The entire place dripped with comfort (for lack of a better word). The feeling we got as we pulled up is hard to explain but the closest I could get would be if my parents owned amusement park rides and just set them up for the day at a city park for us to play with. We saw the pony rides, carnival roller coasters, picnickers, waving kids with hot dogs and cars parked right up behind the rides. I took a moment wondering to myself if this is what it was like when my parents used to go to county fairs.
We pulled around back of the bumper cars and barely got the car parked before my daughter’s door exploded open and she started happy dancing.
Ponies:
With my key still only half way in my pocket, I was being pulled towards the ponies while trying to explain two things. 1. She would probably be too tall for the ponies and 2. We needed to eat real quick first. Our compromise was that we would check her height before eating and do ponies immediately after if she was below the max.
Uh oh.. First problem.. Thanks to her two 6 foot tall parent’s, my kid was a bit over the max height.. She was a tiny bit disappointed but with the lure of the other rides she quickly recovered and we went to get food. While we were eating, a very polite gentleman in a Sandy Lake shirt introduced himself and told us he saw us trying out the pony rides and he had good news for us. The man turned out to be the owner who told us he had just purchased a bigger pony for just such an occasion and asked if my kid would like to be the first person to ever ride him. I could actually FEEL my daughter’s every atom jump up an excitement level so the decision was pretty much already made :-).
When we got done eating and arrived at the corral, we found the owner and an employee hitching up “elmo” the super-pony. He recognized us, took our tickets and helped my kid up on the horse.
We weren’t worried about the pony being so new. You could tell all of the horses had wonderful dispositions and they are all connected together anyway. Still though, during that first ride the owner’s hand never left the horses bridle and he never left her side which was a fact I appreciated and respected.
pic from her second (or was it third) ride:
The dragon:
My daughter almost floated down to the ground after the pony ride but it only took the few seconds while we thanked the owner for her to begin yanking me towards what we called ‘the dragon’ roller coaster. This would be my kid’s first coaster experience and I was so happy she was tearing towards it and would be riding it by herself.
On this occasion, the first of an eventual eight rides on the dragon, she chose to sit near the middle. Very sensible for her first time. The ride began and my wife whipped out her iphone for pictures like a touch-screen ninja. Immediately, we realized that from the front of the ride you can’t see your kids face very well.
It was at this point that we noticed the lack of walls\fences\rails\shrubs that force people to stay in one spot like Six Flags has. We both ran around the side of the ride and got some awesome pictures of the kid riding her first coaster!
The train:
She was exiting the dragon when the train passed by and I tried to offer her my left hand this time so maybe it would stretch to the same length as the right. The arm yanking began and we headed to the station.
I have always loved trains so we take the opportunity to ride any one we come across. The Fort Worth Zoo train, the Trinity express, the train at Frank Buck Park in Gainesville. . We ride them all. I love any kind of train ride but my favorite ones have playful conductors. I could tell with the conductor’s “all aboard” call that this was going to be a favorite.
The conductor gave his talk as we circled the park and his performance was perfect. We rode the train another time later in the day so I know he says the same thing every trip but you don’t get that feeling. He told a story about a tree (that I think my kid believed) and other such tall tales.
The tilt-a-whirl:
After the train ride, I was the one dragging my daughter to one of the rides we had seen. You can’t be in a carnival-like atmosphere and not ride the tilt-a-whirl. My wife (wisely) decided to just watch as the kid and I boarded the red and blue carts. We had screams of delight and LOTS of “weeeeee”s as the iphone ninja kept snapping photos.
I am not sure what the age to g-force limit is but I worried once or twice that I might be passing it. Therefore, my wife took the next shift and road “the spider” and “the white coaster” with her. My daughter decided to brave the white coaster on her own and I used my new found trick of walking around the ride to find the best camera angle. Keeping in mind that I am only an apprentice iphone ninja.
The bumper cars:
Here is where my wife and I had the most fun. We didn’t even ride the cars but we knew how it was going to go. All of us old folks know that the steering on authentic bumper cars is kind of hit-and-miss. Turn the wheel too much and you’re doing doughnuts. Turn it all the way over and you reverse. Well imagine that plus being nine years shy of a license and you can picture how well the kid did.
It was also here though that we noticed it wasn’t just the owner who cared about kids. The employee on the ride stopped the cars probably 6 times to point her car forward but each time, he actually gave her a driving lesson. He pushed the car toward the wall and asked “how are you going to make the car turn and miss the wall” to teach her about the steering. That was really cool.
The other parents and kids were cool too. A young girl deflected a few bad hits while shouting driving instructions and even the other side-line parents were shouting “you’re doing great” and “turn the wheel”.
Because of the low-key atmosphere, I was free to laugh myself into a stupor while shouting “now you turned it too much.. turn the other way”. I am still laughing about it now.
The haunted house:
On our way to mini golf, we stopped by the haunted house. My daughter, who just braved every other ride was actually a bit frightened of this one. Luckily when we got to the top, there was a kind looking grandfatherly figure sitting in a folding chair. As we got closer, he could read it on my kids face and he shouted “don’t worry honey, I am the scariest thing on this ride”. He seemed to know the exact right words and she calmed down immediately.
The People, the times and the impression:
After the ride, we sat and talked with the man for about 10 minutes. I am not usually one to get gooey and philosophical about things but with this man and every other employee we chatted with, I began thinking what a shame it is that younger people sometimes miss out on talking like this. The guy was hilarious as he described his years of working the fun house and I am pretty sure he made a permanent friend with my daughter. She even asked if she could donate her werewolf costume to the guy to help him with “his” ride.
We chatted with a few employees like this and they all seemed to genuinely enjoy working there and making kids happy. The location is amazing. It is so close to all the big cities but as soon as you drive through the gates, the trees cut all the noise and you actually feel like you are in a less hectic time. The owner mentioned that the place has been in business for 40+ years and I really believe going there today feels the same as it did 40 years ago. As a computer guy, I LOVE technology and up-to-the-second equipment but this place was different. (brace yourself for the sap ahead) I actually felt a kind of connection with my grandparents and what life must have been like for them at my age before everything got so modern and complicated. I feel like this place is what it must have been like before amusement parks became like the walmarts of entertainment. It was personal, friendly and just plain simple fun.
I am going to remember the feelings of this spring break for a long time. The laughs and squeals we got weren’t because paid Hollywood to babysit us for an hour or we exchanged a quarter for a ticket at Chuck-e-cheese. They were generated by my family being together and having the freedom and time to enjoy our company.
Thanks Sandy Lake and we’ll see you soon,
the Man, the dad and the husband
Family fun in the Dallas area
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
Man – Bill collectors: how do they sleep at night?
I just got the weirdest call. My wife and I have never been a day late on any payment and have worked our BUTTS off to maintain excellent credit even during my medical stuff. Because of that, we don’t have any experience dealing with bill collectors. The call I just got though gave me a glimpse of what kind of dirty dogs they must be.
When my wife answered the phone, the lady said she was looking for “walker bobby”. I got on the phone and she rattles off that she is trying to get in touch with my neighbor (about 8 doors down) and told me his car make\model, address and name.
I know the trick is to get me to go over there and embarrass him into calling them back but I have half a mind to give the guy their number just so he can totally rail them. Do you know how ticked off I would be if they cold-called random neighbors and told them all of my info?
I flipped out on the lady a bit when I told her to never call my house again but now I kinda stuck on what to do with their 1-800 number.
When my wife answered the phone, the lady said she was looking for “walker bobby”. I got on the phone and she rattles off that she is trying to get in touch with my neighbor (about 8 doors down) and told me his car make\model, address and name.
I know the trick is to get me to go over there and embarrass him into calling them back but I have half a mind to give the guy their number just so he can totally rail them. Do you know how ticked off I would be if they cold-called random neighbors and told them all of my info?
I flipped out on the lady a bit when I told her to never call my house again but now I kinda stuck on what to do with their 1-800 number.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Husband – What planet am I from again?
There are hundreds of books about relationships and the differences between men and women. Whether it is planets of origin or which brain hemispheres or whatever, we husbands really are wired differently.
When we first got married 13 years ago, my wife and I bought a few of those books and tried to better understand each other. I can’t count how many fights we had trying to make each other understand WHY something upset us or HOW the other could have phrased something differently. I wish I had all of that energy back.
Now I think we celebrate those differences in the way that we think. It comes in handy a lot of the time to have someone approach a problem from what I call (when my wife isn’t listening) ‘the opposite of logic’.
To illustrate the difference in the way we think, I would like to point to a conversation I had 15 minutes ago with my wife. I am working from home and she is watching the day after tomorrow. There is a part of that movie where the love-sick 17 year old, Sam, is talking to a girl he really likes but hasn’t told that. A boy from another school asks if she wants a tour of the school and she leaves with new guy. Just before leaving, she says “Sam, can you hold my drink?”.
I don’t know why but I told my wife the following “If you are ever single again and this situation arises, don’t make the dude hold your crap while you go off with some other guy. That’s just wrong.” After one of the most curious looks, she said “duh you idiot.. If a girl does that, it means she is coming back to you”.
Ah ha.. From my point of view, the girl is dumping her crap on ‘friend-boy’ while she investigates some dating material. From my wife’s the girl is dropping a hanky or ‘accidentally’ leaving her purse at his apartment.
So when I sat down to blog I was going to say how “gamey” girls are with stuff like that but in preparing to write it down, I noticed something. Leaving a drink like that is obviously a game but why did I think she was doing the wrong thing? Because “would you like a tour” is code for “let me get you away from all these other dudes so I have a shot at you”.
Here we are again. The exact same level of playing games but on opposite sides of the spectrum.
That is what you realize with time – On the scale of crazy, you’re both the same distance from normal, just in different directions.
When we first got married 13 years ago, my wife and I bought a few of those books and tried to better understand each other. I can’t count how many fights we had trying to make each other understand WHY something upset us or HOW the other could have phrased something differently. I wish I had all of that energy back.
Now I think we celebrate those differences in the way that we think. It comes in handy a lot of the time to have someone approach a problem from what I call (when my wife isn’t listening) ‘the opposite of logic’.
To illustrate the difference in the way we think, I would like to point to a conversation I had 15 minutes ago with my wife. I am working from home and she is watching the day after tomorrow. There is a part of that movie where the love-sick 17 year old, Sam, is talking to a girl he really likes but hasn’t told that. A boy from another school asks if she wants a tour of the school and she leaves with new guy. Just before leaving, she says “Sam, can you hold my drink?”.
I don’t know why but I told my wife the following “If you are ever single again and this situation arises, don’t make the dude hold your crap while you go off with some other guy. That’s just wrong.” After one of the most curious looks, she said “duh you idiot.. If a girl does that, it means she is coming back to you”.
Ah ha.. From my point of view, the girl is dumping her crap on ‘friend-boy’ while she investigates some dating material. From my wife’s the girl is dropping a hanky or ‘accidentally’ leaving her purse at his apartment.
So when I sat down to blog I was going to say how “gamey” girls are with stuff like that but in preparing to write it down, I noticed something. Leaving a drink like that is obviously a game but why did I think she was doing the wrong thing? Because “would you like a tour” is code for “let me get you away from all these other dudes so I have a shot at you”.
Here we are again. The exact same level of playing games but on opposite sides of the spectrum.
That is what you realize with time – On the scale of crazy, you’re both the same distance from normal, just in different directions.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Family - Spy Next Door movie
So we went to see Spy Next Door last night and found it to be about as we expected. The wire fighting scenes were goofy at best but if you went there looking for a great karate\spy film, you probably get disappointed a bunch. :-)
This movie turned out to be a cute little kids movie with some Karate thrown in which is perfect for my kid right now (7 years old). It won’t shock you Jackie Chan fans that there were, of course, fights involving a ladder, household items and a chair (shocker) which I have seen in every Jackie Chan movie I have seen but it was cool to see my daughter watching these for the first time.
She is in Karate and digs it completely. It is the one thing she actually slows down for and listens to instructions. With that in mind, we took her to this movie knowing it would be her first “karate movie”. She had her eyes wide open and laughed out loud at several little kid jokes such as when the bad guy gets kicked in the junk. It was after this movie that she decided to be a spy instead of a vet\artist.
I had to chuckle at the guy behind me with no children that said “about time” at the end of the movie. You have to go in thinking that this movie realistically. That is knowing that this movies is about half way between Jackie Chan in his prime and where ‘the Rock’ is now (hint: the rock is wearing a tutu in tooth fairy). If you go in with the expectation that the story is going to be bad, the acting tolerable and the karate fairly funny, you will enjoy it.
Ps.. Be prepared for almost intolerable accents (and I am not even talking about Jackie).. The bad guys have Boris and Natasha accents and one of the good guys (or is he) is friggin Billy Ray Cyrus. Just saying..
This movie turned out to be a cute little kids movie with some Karate thrown in which is perfect for my kid right now (7 years old). It won’t shock you Jackie Chan fans that there were, of course, fights involving a ladder, household items and a chair (shocker) which I have seen in every Jackie Chan movie I have seen but it was cool to see my daughter watching these for the first time.
She is in Karate and digs it completely. It is the one thing she actually slows down for and listens to instructions. With that in mind, we took her to this movie knowing it would be her first “karate movie”. She had her eyes wide open and laughed out loud at several little kid jokes such as when the bad guy gets kicked in the junk. It was after this movie that she decided to be a spy instead of a vet\artist.
I had to chuckle at the guy behind me with no children that said “about time” at the end of the movie. You have to go in thinking that this movie realistically. That is knowing that this movies is about half way between Jackie Chan in his prime and where ‘the Rock’ is now (hint: the rock is wearing a tutu in tooth fairy). If you go in with the expectation that the story is going to be bad, the acting tolerable and the karate fairly funny, you will enjoy it.
Ps.. Be prepared for almost intolerable accents (and I am not even talking about Jackie).. The bad guys have Boris and Natasha accents and one of the good guys (or is he) is friggin Billy Ray Cyrus. Just saying..
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Man – the medical problems
I have said in a few posts now that I would explain “the medical problems” when I got a chance. I suppose that if I don’t do it now, I never will so here it goes.. Keeping in mind that I am compressing 4 years of crap into a one page post so I will be glazing over a bunch of the details.
My wife and I had always had our share of problems and we laughed them off as they came. For example, when my kid was 2 months old my wife fell and broke both elbows. Let me tell you that when a spouse breaks both arms at the elbow, you get closer to them than you ever wanted to be.
I fed all 3 of us, bathed all 3 of us and was on diaper\bathroom detail for all 3 of us. And when my wife says “we breast fed our kid”, she actually does mean WE.. I had to help with that too and as far as I know, the ‘nipple nazis’ in the hospital still tell stories about us when discussing how important breast feeding is :-D
Even with those problems, we were still in almost inappropriately good spirits.
About a year after that though, is when ‘the medical problems’ began and they were very hard to smile through. I woke up with kidney stone pain on the same side I had stones before and went to the ER again. After a CT scan, they told me that I didn’t have any stones on the right side so the pain must be something else. Thus began the land slide.
That normally would have been the end of my post but I wanted to add the following. If not for my wonderful wife, I wouldn’t have made it. With her broken arms, I helped her and kept her from having to call someone else but that was 6 weeks. My wife stood by me for 3 years of CRAP and 1 year of recovery so far and I would like to publicly thank her like I try to do privately every day.
I love you babe and thank God for sending me you.
What the heck happened?
My wife and I had always had our share of problems and we laughed them off as they came. For example, when my kid was 2 months old my wife fell and broke both elbows. Let me tell you that when a spouse breaks both arms at the elbow, you get closer to them than you ever wanted to be.
I fed all 3 of us, bathed all 3 of us and was on diaper\bathroom detail for all 3 of us. And when my wife says “we breast fed our kid”, she actually does mean WE.. I had to help with that too and as far as I know, the ‘nipple nazis’ in the hospital still tell stories about us when discussing how important breast feeding is :-D
When my kid was 2, I got kidney stones for the first time and had to have the ‘go get them’ surgery. Not to bore you with the details, I will just say the word urethrascope and let you use your imagination.
Even with those problems, we were still in almost inappropriately good spirits.
About a year after that though, is when ‘the medical problems’ began and they were very hard to smile through. I woke up with kidney stone pain on the same side I had stones before and went to the ER again. After a CT scan, they told me that I didn’t have any stones on the right side so the pain must be something else. Thus began the land slide.
During the next 3 years, I had:
- 6 nerve surgeries on my back
- physical therapy
- 6 CT scans
- an MRI
- a bone density scan
- bone marrow biopsies
- pain management doctors
- passed one stone I had on the left side
- had surgery for another stone on the left side
- had shingles about 4 times
- 2 colonoscopies (I am only 33 for goodness sakes)
- About 8 ER trips for pain
- And a bunch more things I can’t even remember.
I went from 170 pounds to probably 200 more than that, from having no debt to ridiculous amounts and from being a workaholic to barely able to function. Medication wise, I went from viccodin all the way up to oxycontin to control the pain.
The Results: Eventually, I just asked my doctors if they thought whatever was going on was going to kill me any time soon. When they said no, I told them all to jump off a cliff and began ignoring the pain and putting our life back together. I have been doing that for about a year and am making some progress with losing the weight and have dropped all pain and numbing medications. I’ll get there.
There are a lot of things during that time that I am proud of. For example, I worked from home so I never missed a day of work, I never took the pain meds when I didn’t need them and I fought my way from oxy (oral morphine!) back down to excedrin simply because I got pissed enough.
Unfortunately, there are a lot of things I am not proud of too. In another post, I mentioned that I felt like I let this journey break me. I can almost pinpoint the moment it happened too. It was when I had everything taken away from me except my wife and child and my doctors began talking about my pain maybe being skeletal\bone cancer. They told me I wouldn’t be able to pick up my toddler any more and shouldn’t run or do anything else that might aggravate my body.
At one of the lowest points in my life I felt like someone was trying to move me out of the picture little by little. Then when I had almost nothing left, ‘they’ started taking my family from me as well which was more than I was prepared to handle.
It was at that point that I just gave up completely. I won’t tell you what life-changing moment I had since that is probably the only deeply personal subject I keep to myself but I can tell you what it was like afterwards.
I made my first rule of my new life. “God will never give you more than you can handle but the bible doesn’t say you have to handle it yourself”. I had always had God in my life but before this moment, I had prayed for him to help take care of my family – not me. Also, though my wife helped me without ever being asked, I learned to ask for her help when I needed it.
I also came to grips with my second rule. God doesn’t cause the pain in our lives but if you let him, He can use that pain for His purposes. It really helps to know that, with your cooperation, what you’re going through isn’t for no reason. That being said, God is big enough to handle it when you get upset so it is ok to say ‘this sucks’. He understands what is in your heart.
It is my belief that I may never know what good will come from my trials. It could be that 2 years from now, someone finds this post on the net and one sentence is the exact one they need to hear at that time. I don’t spend any more time wondering why it all happened because I trust that some good has already come from it and God’s plans are much greater than I can understand.
Even though in the big picture I may never know the answers, I have learned to take the good out of what happened. I realize that I didn’t get beat by this and I feel like I have survived a threat to my life even if that threat didn’t turn out to be a medical one in the end (that I know of). I am not scared of failing, dying or living any more and my ability to get upset by little things is now broken. I find myself taking less pictures than I used to.. I don’t want to look at photos to reminisce because now I bask in every Kodak moment and remember every second I have with my wife and daughter.
During my bad times, I was most upset that for half of my child’s life, I was hurting, having surgery or on medication. Now I realize when you’re seven, 4 years is a huge chunk of time. If I am around 23 good years until she is 30, 4 bad years will hardly be remembered.
--That normally would have been the end of my post but I wanted to add the following. If not for my wonderful wife, I wouldn’t have made it. With her broken arms, I helped her and kept her from having to call someone else but that was 6 weeks. My wife stood by me for 3 years of CRAP and 1 year of recovery so far and I would like to publicly thank her like I try to do privately every day.
I love you babe and thank God for sending me you.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Man - I miss my buddy
I mentioned in a different post that I had a buddy who needed me to be a friend. Since that post, his health progressively got worse until he lost his fight with cancer on Dec 30th. I attended his memorial service on Tuesday and am still having a hard time despite how much of a celebration of his life his memorial was.
This man was a coworker of mine and a friend that I will always call my ‘older brother’. The age difference between us (20+ years) never seemed to matter and in an odd way, it seemed like he was an older version of me. He LOVED music, his family, God and classic comedies like I do but the similarities don’t stop there. He was a deeply religious man but wasn’t afraid to smile at a dirty joke, he let his daughters pick what shoes he should by or if he should dye his hair (we both did that) and I can’t think of anybody he didn’t like.
I can’t count the number of hours we sat discussing everything from airplane models to the importance of family. He told me about taking his daughters to Christian-metal band concerts (which I had never heard of before) and I told him about geocaching and pretty much anything else that passed by my brain. All of my time with him was wonderful.
It seems a bit strange that one of my fondest memories will be when he was in the hospital but the time I visited with him is something I treasure. His oncology nurse had walked in to check on him and asked if I was his son. Without missing a beat, he answered yes and I will forever remember the feeling that gave me.
During the medical problems I had, I went through absolute hell. Everything I knew was torn into shreds and flushed. I think that fact is something that my buddy could relate to and that brought comfort to him knowing that I had just been on the rollercoaster of hospitals and medications. When we talked, I told him three beliefs that my problems helped me form:
This man was a coworker of mine and a friend that I will always call my ‘older brother’. The age difference between us (20+ years) never seemed to matter and in an odd way, it seemed like he was an older version of me. He LOVED music, his family, God and classic comedies like I do but the similarities don’t stop there. He was a deeply religious man but wasn’t afraid to smile at a dirty joke, he let his daughters pick what shoes he should by or if he should dye his hair (we both did that) and I can’t think of anybody he didn’t like.
I can’t count the number of hours we sat discussing everything from airplane models to the importance of family. He told me about taking his daughters to Christian-metal band concerts (which I had never heard of before) and I told him about geocaching and pretty much anything else that passed by my brain. All of my time with him was wonderful.
It seems a bit strange that one of my fondest memories will be when he was in the hospital but the time I visited with him is something I treasure. His oncology nurse had walked in to check on him and asked if I was his son. Without missing a beat, he answered yes and I will forever remember the feeling that gave me.
During the medical problems I had, I went through absolute hell. Everything I knew was torn into shreds and flushed. I think that fact is something that my buddy could relate to and that brought comfort to him knowing that I had just been on the rollercoaster of hospitals and medications. When we talked, I told him three beliefs that my problems helped me form:
- God will never give you more than you can handle. That being said, the Bible doesn’t say you have to handle it alone. Ask for help when you need it even if the help is having someone to hear you complain without judging.
- We may never know why these trials happen to us. God has a plan and a reason for everything but we have no promises that he will run those plans past us first. If you let yourself during those times, you will be used for His purposes which I believe are for the good. That being said, sometimes the using SUCKS.
- If the reason my life had to go through a blender was to make my friend more comfortable or even just provide him with someone who understood, I am happy it happened despite how much it sucked and I would gladly do it again.
Goodbye my dear friend. I love you my brother and I can’t wait until we can chat again.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
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